The Legend Of Max Stassi

Nobody declines Max Stassi

     The Corpus Christi backstop acquired in the Jed Lowrie deal is absolutely torching the Texas league this year. Max Stassi started the year on the disabled list after undergoing hernia surgery before spring training, and understandably started off the year slow. Around 30 or so games, he started to heat up, got hot, and the man has been ablaze for going on roughly a month now. At this point in most of my writings I go into numbers and player profiles and what have you, but that is for a later date. At this point in time, it's crucial that we go over the legend that is Max Stassi. Below are a few fun facts regarding the subject to this post, the man, the myth, the legend of Max Stassi......

Fun Facts:

1. Max Stassi doesn't call the wrong number, you answer the wrong phone.

2. Fear of spiders is referred to as arachnophobia, fear of Max Stassi is referred to as logic.

3. Max Stassi counted two infinity.....twice.

4. Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Max Stassi stories.

5. When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had 5 missed calls from Max Stassi.

6. Max Stassi is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

7. Max Stassi can build a campfire under water.

8. Max Stassi had a key role in the movie Star Wars...he was the force.

9. Every night before he slumbers, the boogeyman checks under his bed for Max Stassi.

10. The calender of Max Stassi jumps from March 31st straight to April 2nd, because nobody fools Max Stassi. 

11. When Max Stassi jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Max Stassi.

12. Max Stassi tells Simon what to do.

13. If Max Stassi punches you in the face, you thank him as well as apologize.

14. Max Stassi CAN believe it's not butter.

15. Max Stassi doesn't own a watch, because Max Stassi decides what time it is.

16. It is forbidden to name a street in the honor of Max Stassi, because nobody crosses Max Stassi.

17. Max Stassi once defeated a brick wall in a match of tennis.

18. Max Stassi doesn't sleep, he waits.

19. Fire escapes were invented to protect fire from Max Stassi.

20. Max Stassi can swim on land

21. The chief export of Max Stassi is pain.

22. Max Stassi pajamas were at the top of superman's Christmas list as a small child.

23. Max Stassi can kill two stones with one bird.

24. Fear has nothing to fear but Max Stassi himself.

25. Max Stassi can cut through a hot knife with butter.

26. Bigfoot tries to capture pictures of Max Stassi

27. Sharks have a week dedicated to Max Stassi

28. Max Stassi once went to a psychic to warn her

29. Max Stassi's apartment smells of rich mahogany, and he has many leather-bound books.

30. In Max Stassi's past life, he was himself.

Those are just a short few of the fun facts that Max has to his name. Do you have any tales to add to the folklore that is Max Stassi? Please share below.